Official portrait of Gertrude, taken at a Glamour Shots in 1998
THE EARLY YEARS
Gertrude was born on a Tuesday in the month of Sometime, in the year of Some Year. From a young age, she showed an unusual interest in bags and their closure mechanisms. While other children played with dolls and trucks, young Gertrude was in the kitchen, obsessively resealing sandwich bags.
Her mother would later recall: "We knew Gertrude was special. She once spent 4 hours trying to reseal a Ziploc bag that was already sealed. That's when we knew she had a gift."
In high school, Gertrude was voted "Most Likely to Seal Something" by her classmates. She took this honor VERY seriously and has been working toward fulfilling this prophecy ever since.
EDUCATION & TRAINING
Gertrude attended the prestigious University of Somewhere, where she earned a degree in Bag Science (this is a real field, she assures us). She graduated with honors, specifically the honor of graduating.
She then pursued advanced studies at the Institute of Sealing Technology in China (hence the company name!), where she learned ancient bag sealing techniques passed down through generations. Her thesis, titled "The Philosophical Implications of Properly Sealed Bags in Modern Society," was 347 pages long and has been read by at least 2 people.
Degrees & Certifications:
• Bachelor of Bag Science (1985)
• Master of Sealing Arts (1986)
• PhD in Bag Philosophy (1987)
• Certified Bag Sealing Professional (expired 1992)
• HTML Certificate from Community Center (2001)
Gertrude receiving her PhD in Bag Philosophy (possibly photoshopped)
FOUNDING BAGSEALERFROMCHINA.COM
The year was 1987 (or 1997). Gertrude was shopping at her local grocery store when she witnessed something that would change her life forever: a cashier putting items into a bag without sealing it properly. The customer walked away with an UNSEALED BAG!!!
Gertrude was horrified. She ran home (leaving her groceries behind) and immediately began sketching designs for the world's first consumer bag sealing machine. She worked through the night, fueled by coffee and determination (mostly coffee).
Three months later, the first prototype was complete. It caught fire during the first test, but Gertrude considered this a "partial success." By version 47, the machine could seal a bag without any major incidents (usually).
And thus, BagSealerFromChina.com was born! The name was chosen because Gertrude studied in China that one time, and she thought it sounded professional and trustworthy.
💬 QUOTES FROM GERTRUDE 💬
"A bag unsealed is a dream unrealized."
- Gertrude, 1999
"I don't just seal bags. I seal destinies."
- Gertrude, 2001
"If you can dream it, you can seal it."
- Gertrude, 2003
"Why have I dedicated my life to this? Good question."
- Gertrude, 2005
"No bag left unsealed!"
- Gertrude, Always
PERSONAL LIFE
When Gertrude isn't sealing bags or thinking about sealing bags or dreaming about sealing bags, she enjoys a variety of hobbies including:
• Watching documentaries about packaging
• Collecting vintage Ziploc bags
• Visiting bag museums (there aren't many)
• Competitive sandwich wrapping
• Updating the company website (as you can see)
• Long walks in the grocery store
• Reading bag sealing forums
Gertrude lives in an undisclosed location with her three cats: Seal, Sealy, and Mr. Baggins. She drives a 1994 Toyota Corolla that she has named "The Seal Mobile."
Her favorite food is anything that comes in a bag that needs sealing. Her least favorite food is things that don't come in bags (most things).
At a bag convention
With Mr. Baggins
The Seal Mobile
AWARDS & RECOGNITION
Throughout her illustrious career, Gertrude has received numerous awards and recognitions, including:
🏆 Bag Sealer of the Year (2002) - Awarded by herself
🏆 Entrepreneurial Spirit Award (2003) - Certificate purchased online
🏆 Best Website Design (2004) - Voted by company (2 votes)
🏆 Lifetime Achievement in Bag Sealing (2006) - From local newspaper (paid advertisement)
🏆 Perfect Attendance (Every Year) - At her own company
🏆 "That's Dedication" Award (2007) - From concerned family members
A MESSAGE FROM GERTRUDE
"Dear Valued Customer (or curious visitor),
Thank you SO MUCH for visiting my page!!! It means the world to me that you took time out of your day to learn about my journey in the bag sealing industry.
Many people have asked me: "Gertrude, why bags? Why sealing? Why this specific combination?" And to them I say: Why NOT??? Someone has to do it, and that someone is ME!!!
Every bag sealed is a victory. Every customer (somewhat) satisfied is a triumph. Every day I wake up and think: "Today, I will seal bags." And then I do! It's a simple life, but it's MY life.
I hope you'll consider purchasing one of our fine bag sealing products. They're made with passion, dedication, and questionable quality control! But most importantly, they're made with LOVE (and some parts from China).
Remember: A sealed bag is a happy bag. And a happy bag makes a happy you. This is my philosophy, and I'm sticking to it!!!
With warmest regards and tightly sealed bags, Gertrude
Founder, CEO, Chief Bag Sealing Officer, Webmaster, and Professional Bag Enthusiast
WANT TO CONTACT GERTRUDE?
Gertrude personally reads every email!!! (Eventually)